By Greg O’Brien

I was to meet the Very Reverend Tracey Lind, former Dean of Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Cleveland, for morning coffee recently at the Hot Chocolate Sparrow in Orleans on Outer Cape Cod. We’ve become good friends. She preaches during the summer at the Chapel of St. James the Fisherman in nearby Wellfleet and still writes with great talent on her blog titled, “Interrupted by God.”

In some ways, I suppose, we prefer that we never met.

It was Alzheimer’s and dementia that brought us together.

Tracey was diagnosed a few years ago with frontotemporal dementia, also known as frontal lobe dementia or FTD, which attacks speech, personality, short-term memory, recognition of friends, and other functions. It’s a cruel killer.

Recently, she was the subject of a “60 Minutes segment on CBS News discussing the disease.

Given my bout with Alzheimer’s, which I have dealt with for the past nine years, we connected through a close circle of friends. Both of us have long family histories of dementia. I’ve also met Tracey’s spouse, Emily Ingalls, a wonderful woman; they are a beautiful couple.

Rev. Lind’s ministry, as her website notes, has included work for social and environmental justice, interfaith relations, sustainable urban development, arts and culture, and progressive theology. Most recently, her ministry has broadened to include the spiritual insights and lessons she has gained from a life complicated by dementia.

During her tenure at Trinity Cathedral, she also led the establishment of Greater Cleveland Congregations and a number of other faith-based and civic initiatives. A native of Columbus, Ohio, she is the author of Interpreted by God: Glimpses from the Edge, and holds a bachelor’s degree in urban studies from the Honors College at the University of Toledo, a master’s of community planning from the University of Cincinnati, and a master’s of divinity from Union Theological Seminary in New York. Then, in 2014, she presented a widely viewed TEDx Talk titled, “How I Met God in a McDonald’s.”

Tracey is a big deal…

Confusion was having its way with me the other day as I was running late for coffee with her. Full disclosure: I forgot the appointment. I quickly hopped in the shower, and, because I don’t drive any longer, I asked my wife Mary Catherine to take me to Orleans. After a quick shower, dripping wet, I thought I should call Rev. Lind to tell her I’d be about 15 minutes late. So, in my closet looking for clothes, dripping wet, and stark naked, I reached for my cellphone to call her. Sometimes, the easiest things in life, when coupled with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia, can be insurmountable. I plugged Tracey’s name into my iPhone. Her number came up immediately. I hit the button. Her phone rang.

The only problem was I hit the FaceTime button!

Rev. Lind appears on my screen, and I, from chest up, appear on her screen, au naturel.

“EXPLETIVE (a four-letter word)!” I yell into the phone as I came into view.

Tracey was shocked; I was horrified, in rage with myself, and thinking that I just dropped an F-bomb to a revered Episcopal minister. What the hell does she think of me?

You can’t make this stuff up.

“I hope you’re going to be dressed!” Tracey said calmly after I fumbled through “I’m-going-to-be-a-few minutes-late…”

I threw my clothes on, and my wife raced me to the coffee shop. I didn’t have the nerve to tell Mary Catherine what had just happened, though she learned later.

The Very Rev. Lind was so cool when she saw me, giving me a big hug, and telling me not to worry. She gets it and has had her moments with this disease.

We had a great talk, two cups of coffee, a blueberry muffin, and lots of love. We talked about her challenges and mine. We talked about the power of faith in dealing with this disease, and not giving up for as long as possible. We talked about the forgiveness of God.

I apologized again.

Getting ready to leave, the Very Rev. Lind, playing my mind like the horn section in a symphony orchestra, said, “By the way, Greg, you look great for a guy approaching 70!”

She smiled, then added in jest, with aplomb, “If I weren’t a lesbian, and if you stayed straight, maybe we might have been attracted to one another.” 

Forgiveness comes in all flavors. The Very Rev. Lind is a saint.

If there were ever a disease that is bipartisan, covers all territories and points of view, it is Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.

God bless you, Rev. Lind; you made my day!

(Appeared earlier in Psychology Today and UsAgainstAlzheimer’s website)